STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE!

I want to go home.

2008-11-09T05:19:54Z

I have never been able to empathize with the famous words of Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn (I hope there are enough of us still around to remember that play) like I can now. Living in Boston for 4 months has been incredibly difficult. I honestly had no idea it would be this hard. Sitting here in my room, which has remained intact since I left, gazing upon all the relics marking different phases of my life, I ask myself if it was the smartest thing to move to Boston. Was it wise to leave all that I know, right out of college, and embark on some selfish journey to self fulfillment only to find that I am beginning to consider performing due diligence and writing spreadsheets a major accomplishment.

I can't help but wonder: what would have happened had I not, all of a sudden, fallen into this finance whirlwind? The fact of the matter is that I have met a lot of very interesting people along the way. Interesting in the sense that they have such colorful personalities, for better or worse, that every single one has given me something to take away. That is the very problem. Here everyone gives you something to take away and then they are gone. You can meet an executive but the conversation is over before it even began and you are stuck wondering if you overexposed yourself or if you were being yourself and which one is the wiser decision. Sadly the ones with the right kind of color never stick around long enough for you to fully soak their aura while the ones you would willingly send on their way decide to stick around a lot longer than you would like them to.

Corporate America is a strange animal that I am still trying to comprehend. Do people really WANT to sound that smug, using obnoxiously sharp diction, overusing words like 'verbage' and 'leverage' and 'going forward'? Is it really that difficult to say no directly to someone? Are we so afraid that team synergy will be destroyed if we do not 'discuss at a later time' something that we want to say no to but want to put off rejecting? Are we so afraid of personal accountability that we have to do EVERYTHING in teams and streamline operations to the point where one person is in charge of splitting up an iterative process and nothing else?

But I rant...as usual...

The real reason I am venting here is my frustration with the fact that I spent 21 years of my life putting together a support system, becoming a part of a unique culture and finally realizing my identity, only to be thrown into a completely different place, severing most, if not all, ties with people I have grown incredibly fond of, and leaving some of the most important people in my life behind to pursue an excuse for a career and the slim prospects of incredibly success with a greater chance of slipping into mediocrity. The numbers just don't seem to add up, in retrospect. The beauty of hindsight is, when you are alone, depressed and unhappy with the way life is going, hindsight is there to pat you on the back and say "I told ya so."

I need to get back to New York pronto...
Either that or this Boston gig better pay off INCREDIBLY...

rajx @ 2008-10-13T22:36:00

2008-10-14T02:38:17Z

http://cindypoe.typepad.com/tortious/2008/10/les-mis-obama.html

Is it sad that the first thing I noticed was that the music was taken from the original london cast recording?

Satanmaonkey666 (10:33:51 PM): i swear if i didnt love vag so much id be the coolest gay guy ever

Update

2008-08-03T04:23:20Z

It has been a little over a month since I left the only place I have called home for 21 years but that month has brought me a lot of pain in many forms as well as rewards and happiness and I believe more than ever that there is such a thing as karma.

No sooner than I had graduated I was shipped off to a city that I was completely unfamiliar with. I had come up to Boston many times before but never had I been in and of the city as much as I had the weeks after my graduation from college. To this day I am still homesick. I miss New York more than anything else. I guess that is the NYU experience lingering in the back of my mind. All my friends are here, my girlfriend is here, my home is here, my life is here.

But in return for my endless nights of homesickness I have been given an incredible opportunity. I am on an incredible analytics team at one of the top brokerages in the world and the work that we are doing is giving me more exposure than I could have ever asked for. I live comfortably on my own dollar and am learning so much from just living by myself and having the responsibility of having to pay rent and bills and having to put dinner on the table. Furthermore, the network I am developing is something that will help me get to where I want in the future.

It amazes me how the world has a way of giving you everything you can ask for but taking away the things that would otherwise keep you in your comfort zone.

For example, instead of taking the new york to boston bus I took the new york to philadelphia bus. After realizing that we were going into the lincoln tunnel I had a mild panic attack and then told the driver to pull over so I could get off. I was driven to the Secaucus Junction and got back into the city just in time to get on the right bus. This experience was horrifying for me as I am irrationally uncomfortable with public transportation. BAD. Two days later one of the big players on our team comes to me to give me my first assignment. I put it together not knowing what his standards were and he loved my analysis. We are working to draft a final project for our team's executive now. GOOD.

Maybe I am just coming to conclusions on my own (which I do a lot) but I have learned to expect something bad with every good thing that happens to me and vice versa and it has allowed me to be prepared for anything.

----

I turned 22 on Friday. It was the first time I actually worked on my birthday. My co-workers bought me cake and a card. It was the first time I have been legitimately surprised by something like that.

----

I appreciate the time I have with Alex now a lot more. When she came up to Boston I realized that when you are alone, Boston sucks. But when you are with friends and good company, the place is awesome. We went to the public garden and took pictures and did the same at the aquarium. Honestly it has been a long time since I had a day that nice.

----

I gave up Red Bull a week before I moved to Boston. Yup.. I have been Red Bull free for more than 7 weeks and I am past the withdrawal stages. I now have to have a glass of OJ every morning otherwise I feel crabby but not as crabby as I used to feel when I didn't have a Red Bull.

----

I want a dyson vacume. The small one with the roller ball swivel thing. THEY'RE AWESOME!!!

----

I miss all my Hudson friends :(

When are we going to have a reunion? Thanksgiving? I will actually be there for that this time lol.

I MISS YOU GUYS! :(

----

I am ranting now and starting to turn delirious so good night.

Atlantic City Rants

2008-03-21T05:19:29Z

Everyone on the floor after two straight games of Kings.

Viraj: Here's my question. Whadya call a queef out your asshole?
Jill: That's a fart.
Joe: That's a fart.

Gary: Are you kidding me? What kinda question is that?
Viraj: No but after anal sex is that a queef or a fart?
Jill(at the same time): Well after you have anal sex sometimes you do hear a fart inside your asshole.
Viraj: Cuz it's not like induced by your digestive system.
Phil: Thats True!
Jill: It..it would probably...you know. you know.. but you know most people...
Joe(at the same time): No but it could...ITS A QUARK!!
Viraj: A QUARK!?
Phil: A QUARK!!
Gary: A quark?
Angana: NO A QUARK IS LIKE A SUBATOMIC PARTICLE!!!
Viraj: I know its really a subatomic particle!
Jill: NO with a P at the end! a Quarp.
Phil: If you queef out your vagina you quark out your asshole?

and it wasn't even midnight. ROFL...

getting shit faced in Atlantic City ftw.

rajx @ 2008-01-01T17:35:00

2008-01-01T22:36:32Z

Pretty shitty start to the New Year...

Wow.

I really do believe in karma now.

Some Random Thoughts

2007-12-29T05:02:11Z

So I have been thinking about it for a while now. If we were to re-cast Les Miserables (the musical) for a full-scale hollywood productions, who would play who? I came up with the following some of them are actually fairly good and some of the others (which I think are obvious) are joking but I would call them in to audition if I were the director:

Jean Valjean: Sean Connery
Javert: Kenneth Branaugh
The Bishop: Alan Rickman
Fantine: Amy Adams
Little Cosette: Stephanie
Madame Thenardier: Helena Bonham Carter
M. Thenardier: Timothy Spall
Marius Pontmercy: James Marsden
Enjolras: Cary Elwes
Eponine: Jenna Leigh Green or Rachel Leigh Cook
Cosette: Emmy Rossum
Gavroche: Freddie Highmore

You would need a hell of a payroll budget to put that cast together but it might just work. You could turn that into a hell of a good movie I bet. Powerful voices carrying powerful roles. All you would need then is a meshing backdrop and costume/makeup design that creates a uniform aura.

Ok on to the next random idea

Finished reading The Alchemist. If you took the part of Forrest Gump where he decides to run across the US except now its the Sahara Desert, you've got The Alchemist. Though its concept is so simple and mundane, the book is incredible and goes very deep into the human psyche touching on lots of important issues about self determination, drive and achieving your goals. I recommend it to anyone because of its simplicity, shortness and depth and because of the perspective and insight it gives you into your own life.

Until next time.

-V

For myself please bypass if you do not give a shit

2007-12-16T20:37:46Z

Taking a break from studying TGE (Topics in the Global Economy) to reflect. My head really hurts and I dont know if its the daze that I get from drinking too much caffeine or the amount of information that I have to learn by tomorrow that is making me procrastinate. This is the first year where I have actually been juggling multiple tasks at the same time in order to reach deadlines (though in the last few years I have really slumped and not given a shit about my work). I feel like I owe it to myself to learn as much as I possibly can in the time that is left at college since I will not really get more "general" training until I enroll into an MBA program. I am starting to get those same end of the year jitters that I got back in Senior year of high school. I hate saying good bye to people because it makes me feel like I will never see them again and that all the memories we had together were for nothing. Then again, I have never been very good with my feelings to begin with. I enjoy being the rock solid entity in a group and Alex makes a fine compliment to that because she telegraphs the fact that I do actually have a soul to my friends thus preventing me from being a lone icon. In all honesty I do enjoy the company of other people but I have difficulty in expressing my honest feelings for them. I think I have developed a mastery of neutral, politically correct speech wherein I am able to convey my ideas in such a way that it renders the person on the receiving end unable to place me on one side or another of a given spectrum. Whatever. I think this is a tool that will help me to get far. It is probably from all of the interviewing and networking that I have done over the last few months. Also being an economics major kind of desensitizes you to a lot of what goes on around you. I guess that must be why so many FAs joke about some of the most vulgar things in the office and when they go out they put on a front that commands respect and makes the sale (I like to call them the Financial Soldiers). I guess that is kind of why I decided to bail out of Smith Barney. It was not for me. I am much happier being the one in the brain room (even though I am foregoing a shit load of potential income). But I am ranting.

This semester has been incredible. You can really tell that the REAL professors are not trying to make you fail but are hoping that you develop an interest in the subject matter and apply it to your career decisions. The REAL professors really want their students to become "leaders of tomorrow" while the grad students usually just want to see an even distribution of grades (ie the majority scoring 70% or less on exams). I guess it comes with the territory. Hopefully I will not have to deal with that for another 3 or 4 years. Whatever.

I think I have a few goals for the next year and once I start work.

-I want to get back to playing guitar.
-I want to play more video games (that are not MMOs)
-I want to start investing and saving for my goals 5-10 years down the line
-I want to exercise everyday and get rid of the 15-20 pounds of fat that I still have once and for all (company gym might help :)).
-I want to start eating 2-3 small meals a day as opposed to 1 big meal
-I want to be able to throw a punch as hard as I could when I quit Karate
-I want to stop drinking soda (diet coke in particular)

Hopefully once school is over I will be able to start making these changes to my life.

Culmination of the semester

2007-12-11T17:52:51Z

I was about to write something really long about my fall semester but I can sum it all up in two words.

Holy Shit.

Finally!

2007-11-29T03:46:37Z

It has been the hardest 3 months of my life. 21 years on this rock and I have never been so stressed and strained than I have in the last 3 months. My mother told me I had a blank stare at dinner every time I came home. I randomly snapped at people, ran around blank and apathetic and I worked my ass off to keep my grades up in school and find a job, prepare for interviews and fill out applications at the same time. I never would have been able to tell you that I was going to wind up where I am today when this semester began. From corporate presentations to networking seminars. Over 300 applications, 30 interviews and over 100 emails. It has finally come to fruition.

When I got the call I could not believe it. Six grueling interviews and over a month of worrying and emailing. Come June I will have a B.A. and a position at one of the top financial service institutions in the world.

IM IN THE LABOR FORCE BABY!!! WOOT!!!

So you want to hear something interesting.

2007-11-28T00:57:32Z

Economics proves that if you send life saving aid to developing countries it makes them worse off. Sending aid to developing countries around the world in the hopes of saving lives will only hurt that country. Because sustained life means increased population and an increase in population without an increase in the capital stock yields inefficient and sometimes stagnant productivity and a decrease in income per capita.

To this I say ROFL.

rajx @ 2007-10-28T23:28:00

2007-10-29T03:34:01Z

I miss the Les Mis days. Things were much easier back then.

So much to say. No time to put it to paper. I have not been sleeping very well lately.

It is sufficient to say that the last two months have been some of the most stressful times of my life. The projected outlook of the stress index is set to increase exponentially if personal confidence is not bolstered by the failure to attain desired goals within the next month.

There is no God...

Keynes was wrong...Invisible hand my ass.

Recent Update

2007-07-13T17:28:08Z

So much shit has been going on in the last few months that it has been difficult to actually sit down and put pen to paper...or finger to keyboard...

Anyway.

So Goldman Sachs never came through for me. As I expected, my qualifications did not even meet the GS profile by half and after, what I expect, was a series of tossing my resume around between Operations, Investment Research and FICC, they got tired and just said fuck it and never got back to me until a month later. It makes no difference to me though seeing as I landed, what I thought would be, a great internship. In fact it has turned out to be the opposite and while there are only 3 weeks left, It seems like an agonizingly long time. Don't get me wrong, working at Citigroup-Smith Barney has been a priceless experience so far as it has taught me a multitude of lessons. Not to mention taught me more about finance than I could have ever learned from a textbook.

Working here is like a double edged blade. On the one hand my resume is just filling up with accomplishments and if I dont piss off my boss I will have a great contact for future business and reference. The stuff you do when you are not cold calling is hands on as well. I am getting the opportunity to see how the new business that I prospected unfolds and how the relationships are slowly established. While assisting in editing proposals and checking over the math of asset allocations I learn about the development of investment portfolios. I am also getting the opportunity to visit and learn about the different branches of Citigroup and Smith Barney. Also there is very minimal copying and filing. The experience is priceless but it comes at a cost.

There is a lot of pressure to bring in new business, you have to be in the moment continuously. If you are not on your A game you are down talked and patronized. The atmosphere is cold and intense. If you cannot prospect new business you could end up cold calling the entire day unless the boss has something planned for you.

Maybe it is not so bad. After all, everyone has to pay their dues. Even though I am working at an investment house, nothing seems to come easy. Making the gears turn can take weeks, months, even years sometimes. I have definitely learned that persistance is key here. After making hundreds and hundreds of cold calls I can say now that there is no job that I cant do. I cannot picture a task worst than cold calling.

One major thing that I have realized is that sales may not be my forte after all. It is indeed in the research aspect of the business where I excel and my goal from now on is to maintain a comfortable income while aspiring to be an authority in a single area. With my obsessive nature and my persistent work ethic, I think there is a path to success and an opportunity for significant achievement

This summer has been going by so fast although I cannot say that I am displeased since I am aching to go back to school. It will be good to go back to books and parties and college life that I am missing A LOT; though I will have to start looking for a full time job for after college and will have to apply for grad school in the event that I do not get a job. One thing is for sure though, I have finally realized how lucky I am that I will be coming out of college free of debt with a clean slate. Hopefully I, like my parents did for me, will be able to finance my children's education someday down the line and give them a fresh start free of debt.

Working in Finance you begin to appreciate how money makes things move. I never realized what kind of money was out there and where the opportunities were until I started working here. The summer has been a real eye opener, though it comes at a cost. All I can say is I feel like a more practical, more accomplished person.

Hopefully the job market will see that :D

-V

PS. wearing a business suit when it is 110 degrees outside is hell. Especially when you have to walk 20 blocks to pick up a package.

I woke up to this...

2007-04-22T17:48:26Z

I was invited to a facebook club that promotes gays in politics. I did not immediately decline the invitation (as I usually do when the LGBT community asks me to be an ally through a social-cyber network), rather I opened it up and found the following:

"Not only the gay community, but the straight community should also question marriage. Marriage is inherently sexist, racist, and economically biased! Marriage and the idea of the nuclear family is what's keeping humanity from progressing. It is a religious institution that stems from the ancient enslavement of women. Do you want slavery in your midst? If not, then fight marriage!"

At first I thought this was a joke. Who the hell could possibly think about marriage this way? But as I read more and more it seemed to me that this was a serious post.

I immediately ensued in uncontrollable laughter at the dirty cunt who decided to post this. It most definitely made my morning. And I am sure that some day if said "dirty cunt" decides to come by my livejournal and sees that I have not constructively attacked her statement, I will just fall into uncontrollable laughter again. If I ever meet this person I will not be able to keep a straight face. Seriously. It'll be like hearing Arnold talk about Californian Politics.

rajx @ 2007-04-13T22:54:00

2007-04-14T02:56:03Z

You know you're growing up when you start saying things like:

"I have to run by the office tomorrow to drop off some paperwork"

"My suit needs to be dry cleaned"

"I only get HOW MUCH after taxes?!"

"Where the hell is my planner...I need a fucking blackjack."

"Do you think this outfit is too business casual?"

A Karaoke Night

2007-04-10T15:17:08Z

So last weekend we went out to a karaoke bar that was shady as hell with pink walls and green stairs that looked like they didnt get their color from the dye at the textile factory. The good side of it was that it was cheap as hell and the private room we had to ourselves was very cozy.

The machine was oober like the ones you would find in Japan (probably because they were imported) and their song library consisted of just about anything you could possibly want. We sang everything from

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAvh2h3vOCo

to

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKGD7AOOd_g

just keep in mind when you say how horrible it is that I alone had 2 malt liquors, and 5 beers in me. So I was just yelling lyrics hehe. Thanks to Julia for taking the video as future blackmail material.

Other numbers we did were from Symphony X, Nsync, Aqua and Creed (CAN YOU TAKE ME HIGHER!).

Alex and I also sang Unchained Melody (Hint: Our Song) and used all the harmonies and stuff too.

We had a great time. However, my wallet is now empty and im a poor college student again :(.

In other news I need to lose the 10 pounds that I gained this semester. Back to halving my one meal a day. I need to fit into my tight club pants by next year again.

rajx @ 2007-04-02T16:17:00

2007-04-02T20:34:45Z

So today, I got a whiff of what may well be the worst thing I have ever smelled.

It was in the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences in the bathroom outside Room 109 (figures it would be in the math/cs building right? lol). A student came out with a look of pain on his face. Obviously this man had one too many of something that triggered and erratic bowel movement.

When I walked in I expected to smell the usual "shit" smell that you smell in most public bathrooms. However, I was met with a waft of something awful and sour. So strong that my distaste was made aware by the individual standing behind me to enter the single stall that would have served better as a janitor's closet. I told myself "the smell will subside" and as I went about my business it only got stronger. I felt like I was going to pass out. I could not handle that smell. It smelled like rotten eggs, horse manure and concentrated skunk spray and for the entire CS class the rotten taste lay on the tip of my tongue. It was completely and utterly disgusting. I have not been that disgusted in a long time.

I find myself reading newspapers a lot more now. I dont know if thats the "Hudson School" message of "DONT BELIEVE WHAT THE MEDIA TELLS YOU THEYRE TRYING TO CONTROL YOU" wearing off and the conservative side coming into the fore or if I just generally have a keener interest in current events. It may also be that the Wall Street Journal is A LOT easier to read than the New York Times in my opinion and the subject matter is a lot more interesting than the same old "WAR IN IRAQ FIVE PEOPLE DIED TODAY OMG!"
Its nice to read for commodities and mergers for a change.

I was reading an article in Game Informer about how in the next 20 years we will have a president "who has played and beaten Grand Theft Auto." This was revolutionary to me in the sense that it put the fact that the Baby Boomers who run the country are slowly dying out and being replaced by us. That is BIG. Our culture changes before our very eyes and we are blind to see it in the droning day of our eat sleep work eat sleep work. It was a very refreshing and inspiring thought that one day I will be able to mold culture in a way that will leave an impact not on society as a whole but on the era itself. Given my consistent strive to be better at everythin that I do it gives me the mental option to search for trends of human necessity rather than control since control will be bestowed on coming generations by default.

I think thats partially why I am choosing Finance as a career. In a world that is almost entirely run by money, one cannot help but go to Financial Institutions for most of their common survival necessities. The feeling that I control their lives and am the catalyst of their success makes me feel very empowered and motivated.

Accounting Core Enhancement due tomorrow
Computer Program and Market Structure Economics Homework due Sunday

rajx @ 2007-03-26T18:28:00

2007-03-26T22:40:19Z

http://www.break.com/index/300_the_pg_remix.html

I cant stop myslf from watching that viral. It has quickly become one of my favorite pieces of farce. I do not know whether it is because the movie was so good or whether the farce is so good or a combination of the both.

Goldman Sachs finally rejected me and I think while there is certainly disappointment there is also a sigh of relief that I will not have to work 100 hour weeks over the summer. My summer plans seem to have settled on Smith Barney Asset Management and that is a good substitute. Less hours for a slight downgrade in name (which matters a lot in banking).

I cannot bring myself to work so I am writing this. Life has been rather uneventful. Go to class come to class go to class come to class, problem sets and computer programs due on Sundays, exams every few weeks. It is almost droning. Of course, this is the lifestyle I have chosen and hopefully next year it will be a little more lax seeing as I am not applying to grad schools or business schools until I have some work experience under me.

Accounting midterm on Thursday focusing on Receivables, Cost of Goods Sold (COGS) and Fixed Assets (Tangible and Intangible). While it all sounds easy I know I am going to mess up somewhere with a silly mistake as I always do.

Computer Programming Midterm in two weeks.

I saw the Namesake. I was disappointed by the fact that it was not as moving as I would have liked it to be. Possibly because a lot of the garbage that people "awed" at I saw first hand (butchering of the name, hypocrisy of race, guilt that arises from breaking cultural bonds).

I thought to myself why I am not as religious as I used to be. When someone at NYU asked me "Are you very religious?" I replied, "It's complicated." I proceeded to spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what the hell that meant (this entry seems redundant) and of course I came up with no answer (or did I? I can't remember).

I think I am at a low point in my happiness function due to routine boredom. But I know that it is sinusoidal so there is a rise to a crest coming up, which is good. I just hope the wave is not deteriorating. !!! ITERATIONS!?

This entry has helped me to collect my thoughts. I am going to go back to calculating Cost of Goods Sold under the LIFO, FIFO and Weighted Average methods and calulating Amortization over a given period of time on intangible assets.

rajx @ 2007-03-03T23:55:00

2007-03-04T05:25:45Z

It is nights like these that make me question who I am and where I come from.

Today I went down to Princeton to see my best friend since childhood's dance show that basically celebrates and promotes South Asian culture and does it with flair and style. It was a brilliant performance and I bought into everything that it has to offer. However, I could not help but question why it is that I cannot bring myself to reintegrate myself into a culture that is so colorful and so special in so many ways. I did not feel Indian, but at the same time, I was Indian.

I began to question myself. Why did I say that one night a few weeks back that I would never date an Indian girl unless she was incredibly unique and different? Why do I scoff at Indians that travel in packs and like wolves but seem to be enjoying themselves and life in general? Why is it that whenever I meet someone who is Indian for the first time I am more distant and more cautious than when I meet any other person?

These questions are disturbing because they are questions I cannot seem to answer. It is either a blind fear or a profound hatred; which one I do not know. But where does it come from? What has the culture of my own people done to me to make me feel this way?

Needless to say, I was in turmoil the entire night after that. I loved the show but I was internally struggling to answer the very questions I pose in this entry. The dinner that came after was interesting. I kind of felt bad for the people sitting around me since I must have come off as incredibly artificial. I think that Manav's (my friend) cousin Sandhiya (spelling? relation?) read through it though although I could be thinking and analyzing too hard.

I have decided that I want to write a book and I want to write a screenplay. Hopefully something that will be noticed by publishers. Regardless of what the subject matter (characters, plot etc.) I know that at the core of these pieces, the questions I have posed in this entry will be explored and make up the fundamental theme and aura of the final product.

I have begun a new chapter in my life: The journey to bring back that which I have lost.

Life is moving forward. It's time to keep up.

-V

rajx @ 2007-02-10T18:21:00

2007-02-10T23:24:54Z

WoW currency on the Mug'thol server is now more powerful than the Indian Rupee.

With WoW gold being traded at 5Gold to 1US dollar on Mugthol
and
The Rupee being traded at 50 rupees to the dollar

WoW gold is now 10 times more powerful than a currency used by 1 billion people.

Just thought I would share how fucked up the world is right now.

My second encounter with Goldman Sachs

2007-02-08T22:43:41Z

After spending a good hour trying to get the dimple in my tie just right and making sure that my shave was as even as possible, I hopped into the taxi and headed for NYU Palladium. Specifically, I was bound for the Wasserman Center On-Campus Recruitment Station.

I got there 30 minutes early and found that the Merill Lynch prospectives were mingling with the Citigroup prospectives and talking about stuff that had I not done my homework on Finance would have sounded like a foreign language. I took the time to make sure that there was no dust or hair or anything that might stand out on my 300 dollar black italian custom tailored suit that had contributed to the title "best-dressed couple" back at senior prom. I also checked in the mirror to make sure that the wind outside didnt ruin the dimple in my silver tie. Everyone there looked professional and tip top. Women in business attire with flirty blue blouses and more buttons open than necessary. Guys with their hair gelled back til it looked vulgar ala Jigger Craigin, clean shaven and in Suit and Tie. Everyone had the same NYU professional padfolio colored black except for me since they were sold out when I went to buy one. Had I seen these people in the street I would have thought them to be rich young Wall Street blood making 3 million dollars a year and spending it all at night clubs. But they were all my age. Some were younger.

The fit interview arrived at last. The interviewer, by choice, came out early and introduced himself. I stood up from my isolated corner of the room that I was sitting in, looked him in the eye and gave him a firm handshake and friendly greeting. I looked to the clock and saw that we were 15 minutes early. I realized that coming earlier than what was recommended by my advisor was a good move on my part and I made sure to try to use the extra time to my advantage. He was from the Global Securities Lending division. He was a very nice man, well spoken and careful with his words. I could tell that he had a plan for me though I had no idea what it was. He asked me some key questions to get a feel for what my skills were. I talked about my tutoring and my life goals and what I wanted out of an internship. We seemed to agree on many of the fundamental principles of "the big picture" and when I asked about the next round of interviews he said "be yourself and you will be fine" which means that either A. Im on his good side and he will put in a good word for me with HR or B. That I completely flopped and he does not want to disclose the details of the next step. I can never be too sure but I am optimistic.

The best part about this interview was the fact that the man sitting across from me was able to gauge my skills so well that he guided me to the division that matched my skills almost perfectly. I went in thinking that Global Investment Research was the right division for me. I came out knowing that FICC Strategies was the ideal division for me. The right amount of math, analysis and exposure to the markets. Not to mention statistics is fucking cool.

Overall, I think I got lucky. The interviewer was a very nice guy and he gave me his business card as well which was cool because a lot of people were copying information that the interviewers had posted on the doors of the rooms for their "thank you letter". I also emailed him immediately once I got back to my dorm and he immediately replied so I think that was a good sign as well.

O I was also a dumbass and left my 200 dollar jacket out in the waiting room. Luckily, nobody took it and when I came out and noticed that I had not brought my coat in and that it was still lying on the chair I mentally smacked myself accross the face for being irresponsible. It had been a while since I had forgotten about one of my possessions. Lucky for me I didn't have to walk home in the freezing weather without a coat.

Pray that I get through the first round. And pray that I survive the second round. I should hear within 10 days.

Of course, if I get through the first round, it will only be the beginning. "Super Day" is apparently a full day (7-10) hours of continuous interviews that are meant to ruin your spirits and push you to the limit in terms of analytics, patience and will power. On top of that they are constantly monitoring whether your personality is a good fit with the firm. Not to mention I have to review all my calculus and statistics before I go to the interview in case they give me some crazy differential to solve.

Like I said, pray for me :)

I am optimistic, but there is a chance that it might not fall through.

Update

2007-02-06T01:06:17Z

To all those I have been neglecting I apologize. The stress of finding an internship is killer. But after some 60 applications through a combination of cold site apps and OCR apps it has so far come down to 3 interviews, one interview pending and one offer that I have deferred to the summer. On top of that I have about 12 apps still pending.

It feels good to know that I have a spot waiting for me at Citigroup: Smith Barney as an intern in Wealth Management if Goldman does not pull through.

The Goldman Sachs interview is on Wednesday; the preliminary "fit" interview.

Of course, if this interview pulls through, it will be the first of two and I will have to go to the great monolith that resides down in the financial district to go through a series of more interviews.

Whether I make it or not, this should be an interesting experience.

I am happy that I have something to fall back on though. That makes my security level go way up. It is to my advantage, I feel that my confidence is directly correlated to my level of security. I just hope I dont get too nervous lol.

rajx @ 2007-01-28T01:30:00

2007-01-28T06:31:11Z

Viraj is pissed...

rajx @ 2007-01-25T23:36:00

2007-01-26T04:39:09Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdUUx5FdySs

This video parallels who I am in so many ways. I dont know how to explain it but it moves me every time I watch it.

GS Presentation Recap

2007-01-17T13:41:14Z

It was definitely the most intimidating experience of my life. He stood there like a towering colossus. Something along the lines of a Jason Statham crossed with Bradd Pitt. You can tell that aside from his towering posture and massive physique, the way he spoke told you that this guy knew what he was talking about and that he had been there to see all of it. I am talking, of course, about the co-head of Investment Banking at Goldman Sachs who was at the presentation to speak and mingle with the 150 (give or take) cut-throat students that had shown up in business formal attire to learn the ways of the towering monolith of investment banking.

I stood there dumbfounded by his sheer charisma and presence. Every word he said was planned and executed perfectly. He never paused, he never stopped to think. He knew the answer as if he had answered the same question a thousand times. I was glad that I put Investment Banking as my second choice on the application.

There was a short video demonstrating the culture of GS which was akin to the videos that they played in the base of that movie "The Island" and it completely sold me. The keynote was given and then it was time to mingle. I stood there before this colossus so dumbfounded that I did not know what to say. As countless Asians artificially shook his hands and wooed him a la that dude in Princeton in the Harold and Kumar movie. I stood there watching. They asked their questions and warmed up to him. Of course then the guy told us "I hope you guys know but I probably will not remember you tomorrow unless someone else brings you up to me." After he said this the crowd died down by about 70 percent but I still stood there in the front intently listening to every word he said and absorbing it all. People from behind were pushing and pushing. One poor lad wanted to ask a question but he was stuck in the back and nobody would let him through. Finally he had time for one more question. Of course I did not ask it. However after the question was answered, I looked at him with the most sincerity that I have ever looked at anyone. Not having said a word this entire time I looked deep into his eyes and he stopped for a minute. He shook my hand and then was off. His handshake seemed like it took him 23 years in the banking business to perfect. It was just the right amount of pressure with the right amount of grin and stare as if he were saying "dont be afraid"

I then made my way over to the station of my first choice application: Global Investment Research. I talked to the guy there who was very nice and very informative. He followed tech stocks and so we talked about technology today and how Goldman pulled through the tech bubble burst in the late 90s and around the turn of the century and how Investment Research played a critical role in doing that. He ultimately gave me his business card and while I was trying to hold my excitement I was beaming inside. The guy was very nice, a little less intense but a whole lot more brainy (just my type) and he was and awesome person to talk to.

As I left I stopped to talk statistics with one of the recruiters. Her name was Emily and she did recruiting for Harvard. I gave her my whole spiel about how I had estimated how many interviews Goldman gave out by school to try to come up with a ratio of interviewers to interviewees. She seemed to be impressed with the amount of thought that I had put into it. We got into a whole conversation about how GS is a lot like "my old high school" and how every employee emphasizes the kind of people that work there. It was definitely the first time that I had ever seen someone talk about its people as highly as people did at Hudson. I left that day feeling good but uneasy at the same time. Making it to the first interview will be a challenge. Hopefully I will.

Pray for me everyone...

-V

rajx @ 2007-01-13T11:50:00

2007-01-13T17:06:48Z

There is a lot of stress to go around these days.

Two syllabi in already for Money and Banking and Intermediate Micro. Aplia has returned to make my life miserable. I hope I will be able to manage this time around. Intermediate Microeconomics is apparently hell on earth for any aspiring econ major. All I know is that I'm not out of the hole I dug myself into last year yet. I still have a long way to go.

I have decided to stop stressing about the whole internship search and downgrade my obsessive nature to one of heavy involvement. Worst case scenario, I try to find some petty job or I take classes AGAIN in the summer (which would make me very depressed). Either way I will still be applying to them like a mad man. My uncle had to apply to over 120 internships to get his job at Jamaica Hospital. I have only applied to 30 positions so far. I guess I will still have to keep them flowing. My one major weakness right now is my GPA and trust me, if I could go back and do it all over...well I cant now can I?

"Fresh insight comes to you through mass media, giving you a whole new perspective. You may find that your boss is not entirely satisfied with your recent work. It will be difficult for you to fix your damaged reputation. If you want to make more money you will have to focus on your personal investments."

That was my horoscope. The fresh insight was me reading the newspaper and realizing that I have to stop stressing. My boss is not entirely satisfied relates to someone who I do not know yet. The damaged reputation is my GPA in shit. Making money and personal investments. That means that I will have to work harder in order to resolidify my GPA so that I have a presentable resume. It is very scary how my astrology source is so frickin accurate.

My schedule next semester is pretty awesome:

Monday
Intermediate Micro- 9:30-10:45
Intro to Computers and Programming- 12:30-1:45

Tuesday
Money and Banking- 9:30-10:45
Creative Writing- 12:30-1:45

Wednesday
Intermediate Micro- 9:30-10:45
Intro to Computers and Programming- 12:30-1:45

Thursday
Money and Banking- 9:30-10:45
Creative Writing- 12:30-1:45

I don't attend recitation usually so I will not put them here. But this is an awesome schedule.

Ok well more later.

-V